At first, we felt like we were in a piece of immersive theatre; an off-grid disaster movie of sorts. There was no reception desk, just a series of tumbling down properties in a meadow, surrounded by woodland. We had to search for a member of staff - a young girl from Eastern Europe - who appeared non-plussed and only too happy that we should fend for ourselves. There was no hot water. The same girl told us, "The gas boiler is too dangerous to use." The only electricity was from a noisy generator which was switched off shortly after midnight until the following morning. Our exclusive use bathroom was nothing of the sort, having been used by a workman and a mother and child who had, I believe, some connection to the host. The place was infested with mosquitos, the lights flickered on and off and the open fire in the downstairs lobby filled the entire house with smoke. The kitchen/dining area had no running water and dirty plates and cutlery were left out overnight. In retrospect, I am surprised we made it through the night. The 17km unmade road that led to the property only served to heighten the sense of impending doom. Book if you are into cabin-in-the-wood style horror films. A shame, all in all, as the surrounding countryside is stunning and the main house - a historic wooden lodge - has charm and great potential.